In Remembrance of Evan Bogart
It is heartbreaking and an honor to be amongst the many rays of light that emanated from Evan. We each symbolize a unique ray in Evan's life, which is the story of our relationships with Evan. We all know Evan's love, support, and loyalty and are bonded by a beautiful map of events that are Evan's life. Honoring our friend's legacy is challenging to do in a short span of time when our friend has lived a life so rich in experience.
My ray of light, my story with Evan, began six years ago. My name is Mara and in recent years, I was Evan's employer at Mountain Travel Sobek, but our friendship started six years ago. I was guiding on a six-day Idaho rafting trip, on which the Sierra Club sent veterans. Evan was like many on that trip, a fraction of his spirit, searching for forgiveness, searching for happiness. Unlike many of the participants, Evan had just completed guide school in California through the partnership of Sierra Club & Oars Rafting Company.
In Evan, his dear friend Rob saw the need and opportunity to benefit from the outdoors. With great hesitation, Evan attended the guide school. Guide school is a common foundation for most new guides to spend a week learning the fundamentals of whitewater safety and river trips. Evan would often reflect on how on day one of guide school, he had no interest, but on day two something clicked, and a career in boating began.
The veterans' trip was an opportunity to allow grieving, support, and transformation to happen within nature. As the guide crew working this trip, we were briefed to conduct our jobs of safely navigating the river, leading hikes, preparing backcountry meals but as much as possible to stay in the shadows to allow for private healing. We met the group of veterans eager and friendly at the river put in the morning of our trip. Immediately, I was blown away by the vulnerability of the group, the candor for the desire of healing, the support for each other, despite many of the participants not having met before. This was a brotherhood I had never experienced. In my 30 plus years as a commercial boatman, this is the trip that has resonated the most! Evan's eagerness to learn, awkwardness on the oars in an unflattering customer jacket, humor amongst his friends, but most of all his unwavering loyalty to a community of friends who shared an unbelievably challenging life path was most telling. We finished that trip, and I came out of it seeing war differently, seeing soldiers differently, profound regret, sacrifice, and vulnerability. In a matter of 6 days, I had gained a wonderful friend.
Evan & I bonded on that trip as we both were at axis points in our lives. I was transitioning out of full-time guiding, spending 150 days a year in the backcountry in some of the most remote places in the US. Evan was transitioning into discovering himself with forgiveness, vulnerability, commitment & enthusiasm. He would call me his whitewater fairy godmother. Through his boating career, many of our conversations focused on his dreams, goals, and strategy towards achieving an amazing career in rafting. The reality was, I was not his fairy godmother; I was simply one of his friends lucky enough to hold the mirror for him, to help him realize himself. I saw a profoundly kind and dynamic human who was meant to navigate the rivers we ran. Later that fall, Evan came on a 16 day commercial Grand Canyon trip as my assistant. The following season he continued to work in California as a daily river guide. In his later years, Evan worked for us at MT Sobek as a multi-day guide running trips as short as four days and as long as 16 days in the backcountry spaces of Idaho & Utah. He was starting his boating career in the same places, on the same platforms, and the same rivers, in the same manner, my own career developed on 25 years earlier. It was profound for me to recognize in Evan the transition points in our lives that bring us to the river, the shared passion for wilderness space, the ability to bring joy to guests' hearts as they engage with nature. It's an unusual dynamic to facilitate a river trip in the backcountry where nature will challenge you physically and emotionally amongst strangers.
Nature is conducive to what I refer to as "soul chats." As we all know, conversations with Evan were soulful and rich. Our clients have continually been moved by his ability to see and appreciate people for who they were on a deeper level. To our guests, Evan was an adventurous soul, safely telling clients, "it's alright, it's ok."
River trips are always about safely facilitating the client experience. It takes someone, like Evan, with a high standard for customer service and safety to excel at it. But the most magical part of commercial guiding is the moments we share as a community. The freedom you experience living in the backcountry, doing what you love, meeting new people, developing friendships, expanding horizons, and learning more about the land and spaces we as guides call home.
For those of you not intimately familiar with 'Guide Life' and Evan's river community, summers on the river are months of beautiful memories, hard work, extreme weather, tourists & a community of guides. Guides are stewards of these wilderness spaces and facilitators of an experience. The culture on the water is one of family and support in its simplest form. For many guides, the family support each guide is without while working back-to-back trips is lovingly filled and fiercely protected by your river peers. You work hard and play hard through all your strengths and vulnerabilities. As guides, we find the moments in the field bond you forever, such as navigating together the unpredictability of Mother Nature as you marvel in her beauty, or in the camp kitchen at 6 am when the fog slowly rises off the river, the boats, and the oars, sitting in an empty camp drinking coffee waiting for clients to wake, sneaking away from camp for a dip in the river or a hike to a cave, and lying awake at midnight on our boats whispering to each other about the stories that led us to that moment while gazing into a quilt work of stars. The river allows us to reflect, to run away, to conquer, and to dream.
Evan's humility and grace about the things he did not know accelerated his talent and skills as a boatman. The skills and talent he did have only made him that much more competent & capable. To step aside from his ego and lead with his heart was a beacon for many of our guides. His strength and personality boomed with every paddle captain command or crew chant. Even in millions of acres of wilderness, you could hear Evan, and you could see Evan, partly because he always was walking around in an Aloha shirt or shirtless. Beautiful deep laughter or shouting celebrations of appreciation for being outdoors were his voice. You could feel that Evan's raw joy was uncontainable. Always present and appreciative of life, of living and loving gently and fiercely. Evan was in love with the river; the way she challenged him, pushed him, and brought peace to his heart. This allowed him to realize the authentic happiness that allowed him to find his truest self. His sincere, present optimism and humble nature all while sweating profusely in the hot summer sun. To watch him share this with his nephew, Dominique, who came out to be Evan’s swamper on the sweepboat, was a gift. Dominique, I know your uncle loved you so dearly and was so proud of you. I am so glad you got to feel your uncle's joy on the river.
Evan was a bright light in many circles and respected by all that knew him. He was an extraordinary friend to his river friends. He was an exceptional natural leader with the ability to impact peers in a beautiful, unassuming manner. He was grateful for each day and opportunity afforded him. This loss will forever affect our crew. Personally, I will miss the level of loyalty and support I felt with Evan.
His family and his Army family were an essential part of his life. This man's journey as a child and as a young man through multiple tours forever shaped the person he is. The ability to emerge to the other side of that journey and rediscover himself in a way that fulfilled his heart and soul is an inspiration. His perspective on life and the ability to see the beauty within each of us did not match what people assumed of someone in the Army. He was gifted at appreciating each and every person for who they are and what they bring to the table – including himself. A self-awareness many people never achieve.
When I spoke to Evan Tuesday night, the night before he passed, he was so unbelievably happy living in Guatemala and excited for our upcoming river season in the States. He was going to guide for us in Idaho, Utah, Oregon, and Alaska. The joy and peacefulness in his voice filled my heart. I told him it makes me so happy to see him following his heart and soul, he responded with how truly happy he is. He kept saying, "I am so, so, happy" "so happy" – I will carry that in my heart for the rest of my life.
Evan, my friend, I love you; it is the unrealized love that I mourn. I was ready to ride your beautiful coattails as you run rivers all over the world! You have forever changed my life and the lives of your peers in the river community! I will forever hold you in my heart at each bend of the river, each campfire filled with laughter, and every hike as the wind of the canyon blows past us. Someday we will meet again and hug on the banks of a river you loved so much!
Mara Darzina